They spent years in front of mirrors, practicing that face.

AWKWARD!

She slept in his bed? That is super, mega, ultra sad.

Part of us feels a slight twinge of guilt for going off on such a young girl. Fuck it. She chose the reality television route to further her career and besides, she is, quite possibly, the most irritating person to ever breathe air. Enough with the giggles and the weeping over a guy you've known for 2 weeks, honey. We'll give her credit for being a good designer, but MAN, is she ever hard to take for more than 5 minutes.

Iman simply must have a tiny man in a tuxedo to do her bidding. Child labor laws would probably prevent her from keeping this kid on, so she should look into some organizations for little people. We're sure they could hook her up with some pocket gay who lives to do her bidding.

And Bravo continues promoting the gay agenda, to the consternation of assholes everywhere. We kind of love them for going this route. It was pretty damn brilliant. And we have to say, it spurred some reflection on our parts because when they said "wedding" it never even occurred to us that they were talking about same-sex couples.

We were disappointed at how little face time the guest judges got. They both managed some on-point critiques (excepting Johnny's "I want to roll around on the floor with this utterly standard fabric flower!"), but as always, Iman and Isaac duked it out for the spotlight.

As for this one, it's time to forgo the niceties and just be the bitches we are. He's an asshole, full stop. There are two types of reality show villains. The far more entertaining type are the ones who have no idea how they're coming across to other people, e.g., Wendy Pepper, Kenley, Gretchen Jones. The second type are the ones who are deliberately going out of their way to be as nasty as they can to ensure maximum camera time, e.g., Santino, Jeffrey, and Calvin here. Santino and Jeffrey at least had their good points. Santino was funny and entertaining and Jeffrey was a bundle of childish insecurity. Calvin's just an asshole and it really stopped being entertaining a while ago. He was pretty much out of control last night.

And while we felt for Cindy, having to work with him, her whining about not being able to put her arms around her client, not to mention her reluctant, half-hearted acceptance of same-sex marriage, made it awfully hard to feel bad for her.

Asshole.

Although to be fair, we wanted to never stop slapping these two queens. To expect someone to just whip up garments inspired by traditional Korean wedding dress with limited time and materials, not to mention no opportunity to do research, is fucking obnoxious. We won't even get into how lame "I want something from The Matrix" is.

These two, on the other hand, were so sweet and so much fun we want to be invited to their wedding.

So congrats to Giggles McWeepy once again. We're not opposed to this win, but we're not sure it was the most deserving.




But it really says something when a totally nondescript wrinkled linen dress gets praised like she managed couture. Don't get us wrong, it was well done and totally suited the client and the occasion, but we wish Isaac had expanded on the "You could buy this anywhere" line of critique, which he suspiciously dropped just in time to congratulate her.


As for Korean Matrix Bear, he looked suitably idiotic, given what he was asking for.




We did feel bad for Cindy, since she had no menswear experience. On the other hand, YOU TRIED OUT FOR A REALITY FASHION COMPETITION, HONEY. It was pretty stupid of her to think it wasn't a possibility. We'll give her credit for one thing: she managed to invent a new garment: the wedding anorak, for those nippy weddings at sea in the Arctic.

Get out, Cindy! It's a trap! Iman is never nice to anyone unless it suits her EVIL SCHEMES!

[Photo Credit: Heidi Gutman, bravotv.com - Screencaps: tomandlorenzo.com]

Post a Comment

Labels: , , ,